ain't a fairytale.

Wednesday, March 25, 2009

life

so life's seriously complicated nowadays.

im so tired now.

today was.
i guess the best day of the week?
talked to rafi.
i love him manxzsxzs
i can talk anything i want to him!
hé's my bestest buddy!;D

hahahs.
seriously.

gosh, im no more stress.
thanks rafi!
:D ily!!!!
hahahah!
D:
ive venged out whateve ri thought
and felt to him;D
not FOR HIM
hahahah!
shit. this is not. nvm
D:

sorry people, i know im so irritating nowadays
im going crazy.
and i know im so emo nowadays
until.. yeah
im better now.
i guess?

i miss him so much!
i love him so much!
whyy must this happen?!

i guess this are the best people in my life.
afiqah, jannah, atiqah, natasha, aqilah.
rafi, rayyan.
alwani, sabrina, amira, vanessa, sharonna.

my best hangoouts.
alwani, amira, najwan, shaik, syahmi.
i guess?

my confiders.
afiqah, rafi.

my life.
myself.

i feel so much better after talking to rafi.

---

yesterday naafiu confessed to me.
wow.
(9:52 PM) Ỉồνέ ωάϨѝΤ Ỉồνέ: 8 mins to go..
(9:52 PM) Nadhirah; confus: hmm
(9:52 PM) Ỉồνέ ωάϨѝΤ Ỉồνέ: count down..
(9:53 PM) Ỉồνέ ωάϨѝΤ Ỉồνέ: can i say smthn
(9:53 PM) Ỉồνέ ωάϨѝΤ Ỉồνέ: ur spcl for me..(:
(9:53 PM) Nadhirah; confus: hm? why so sudden?
(9:53 PM) Ỉồνέ ωάϨѝΤ Ỉồνέ: like i hav fallen for u
(9:53 PM) Nadhirah; confus: are you okay?
(9:53 PM) Ỉồνέ ωάϨѝΤ Ỉồνέ: -blushes-
(9:53 PM) Ỉồνέ ωάϨѝΤ Ỉồνέ: yaaaa
(9:53 PM) Ỉồνέ ωάϨѝΤ Ỉồνέ: im tellin the truth
(9:53 PM) Ỉồνέ ωάϨѝΤ Ỉồνέ: okeiii

---

the days before,
shaik kinda confessed.
its so freaky.
i got him a way to kinda confess.
but still, he directly, didnt.

--

ibrahim.
you're a TOTAL SHOCK.
its like you were from the water cooler.
im to class.
we pass each other.
you stopped me.
"will you believe me if i said something?"
"huh?"
"will you believe what im going to say?"
"hm? what?"
"i love you"

he was like so tall.
im so short.
he looks down at me.
staring.
im looking ahead.
i dont dare.
then. it was just.
"uhm.. oh.. okayy"
i was so SHOCKED.
too many things happened!
like break ups, scoldings, confessions, new people!
argh!

anyway as i was saying.
then just.. walked off.
then he eyed on me during english.
and it was so.. awkward..
like he was seeing if im okay?
---

shaik was weird.
i mean, after school.
k. let me tell you.

alwani was uhm, crazy and keeps bragging about guys
soo, i dragged her to the guys
which was so hard.
until she fell. OOPS. ;x
okok, and then, i dragged her with my left arm
left arm!
(and now the pain's back like at the shoulder and neck too)
haha.
so yeah, finally brought her there(though still end up nothing)
then i was like.
"shaik! just talk la! i bring her all the way here and my left arm's pain you know!"
cause he wanted me to go away. and alwani wanted me to stay, if not she'll go
"can i see your hand?"-with serious and concern face and his hand calling out for mine-
it was so. WOW.
i was so astonished.
i was dont know.
i was about to cry that point, i miss ashraf.
he would grab my hand and just wipe the pain away. ):
so, back to the point.
then i smiled sheepishly said,
"uhm no.. heh.. uhm.. its okay la. (:"

haha. embarrassed much?
he seemed to act like boyf just now.
haizzz..

--

did see ashraf today.
but not face to face.
he wasnt loud.
wasnt noisy.
wasnt annoying.
wasnt.. idk?
he was.. different.
sab thought he didnt exist today.
haha!
but its alright, i always know he does.
in my heart.
gosh, im being so mushy! ><
--

so anyway,
Nadh irah ; wow. speechless says:
anyway i didnt see his face this whoole day
Nadh irah ; wow. speechless says:
he wasnt close with his bestf.
Nadh irah ; wow. speechless says:
usually we will face to face
Nadh irah ; wow. speechless says:
today never. :P
Nadh irah ; wow. speechless says:
hahah
Nadh irah ; wow. speechless says:
instead i face to face. and give face
Nadh irah ; wow. speechless says:
aahha

---
(8:03 PM) Nadhirah; wow. s: and you know what?
(8:04 PM) Nadhirah; wow. s: today morning like i purposely terserempak(walk pass) with him

(8:04 PM) Nadhirah; wow. s: cause i see him like tk nk(dont want) see my face
(8:04 PM) Nadhirah; wow. s: i purposely walk like past him
(8:04 PM) Nadhirah; wow. s: then he glanced at me like i sense guilt. :P
(8:04 PM) Nadhirah; wow. s: hahah.
(8:04 PM) Nadhirah; wow. s: sooo. best.
(8:04 PM) Nadhirah; wow. s: then today i think he dare not see mah face

--
(8:05 PM) - [ Fυиκyвєат: happyu uhhs ?
(8:05 PM) Nadhirah; wow. s: best uh
(8:05 PM) Nadhirah; wow. s: now like i abit gain control
(8:05 PM) Nadhirah; wow. s: ahhahaha
(8:05 PM) Nadhirah; wow. s: i feel the power babeh
(8:05 PM) Nadhirah; wow. s: and i think i dont knw. if he saw that ibrahim confronting me
(8:05 PM) Nadhirah; wow. s: cause after that , i saw him sitting at the railings
(8:06 PM) Nadhirah; wow. s: then i was outside my class with that ibrahim mah
--
(8:06 PM) - [ Fυиκyвєат: aber aper jadi ?
(8:06 PM) - [ Fυиκyвєат: alifah dtg ?
(8:06 PM) Nadhirah; wow. s:
(8:06 PM) Nadhirah; wow. s: aku tk tau
(8:06 PM) Nadhirah; wow. s: then tht ashraf just continue sitting on the railings
(8:07 PM) - [ Fυиκyвєат: dier tk ckp nga ko ?
(8:07 PM) Nadhirah; wow. s: tk uh . tk boleh pun. like parents larang? entah! anyway abeh bila(when) eng lesson kan, si(the) ibrahim peep on me. cause now i sit at the back, cause i prefer being close with ibrahim's class which is at the back then ashraf's class which is infront of my class and last time i sit at the front.
---
(8:12 PM) Nadhirah; wow. s: my class inbetween their class
(8:12 PM) Nadhirah; wow. s: and in my class is shaik
(8:12 PM) Nadhirah; wow. s: and im STUCK
(8:12 PM) Nadhirah; wow. s: tmr is so BAD.
(8:12 PM) Nadhirah; wow. s: BAD
(8:12 PM) Nadhirah; wow. s: BAD
(8:12 PM) Nadhirah; wow. s: BAD
(8:12 PM) Nadhirah; wow. s: BAD
--

im so mad.
thanks rafi, again!

--
anyway, now syuhada's not okay.
seriously, like mental breakdown.
gotta find a way to talk to him! (:
--

so nowadays i get somewhat bullied
by the prefect guy seniors.
esp lutfi.
hmph.
like ever since they know im not attached?
sucks.

so whatever eh.

then uhm.
by syahmi and najwan too!
hahah
they so funny!
they will do the violin action
meaning, like im slashing.
cause they know?
hahah.
so it was funny.
i'll make faces.
:D

okay. thats all?
i'll put up things again
when i remember?:D

6:56 PM) - [ Fυиκyвєат: eh mondae aku cerite kn kt rayyan pasal ashraf abe dier pun tk happie nagn ashraf
:D
me lovey themmy.

--
and i dont like the new rumour
about me.
for goodness sake,
i have no boyfriend from greenview!
anyhow only!
who started it?!

shit lar.
i dont even know any of them.
hmph. thanks anyway.
lol-.-

Tuesday, March 24, 2009

help me. ; lovestory

--

gosh, someone help me.
im mentally insane.
i mean it.
i really am.
god,

god, help me.
please, the pain's killing me.
its climbing up to my neck.
it is.
it already is.
no, this cant be happening!
i really.
can believe.
i need a cousellor.
come on!
ive stopped slashing.
i have.
i will, i hope.
save me.

that song's making me cry.
after a while.
NADHIRAHHHH!
BUCK UP!
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU!!!
COME ON GIRL!
DONT BE LIKE THIS.
YOU'RE STRONGER THAN THIS!!!!!!!!
DONT GIVE UP ON YOURSELF!

i guess that true.
come on!
nadd!
forget it!!!
pleaseeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!
he's already happy, thanks to you!
stop!stop!
you always wanted him to be happy with his family
and there you go!
dont destroy his happiness.

NOOO!
I CANT DO THIS. T.T
i really cant...
come on...

why am i talking to myself these days?!
why is my thoughts that i only get to listen these days.

today sucks.
embarrassed by alwani, sab and nas.
come on. why did they had to tell teacher and class?
I DONT LIKE IT.
I REALLY HATE IT.
and that caused me to be emo til now.
im serious.

and im labelled as emo queen & emo kid?
wth?
ok la. cause i am?
and i cant believe i am!
i want my old meee!
WHERE ARE YOU!

nadddd!!!!!!!
ARRRRRRRRRRRRRRGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH.
COME ON.
BUCK UP!!!!!!!

after mt was
i guess, english.
and yeah, did just uhm. slideshows
and write descriptive.
and i was the first to complete?
i didnt pay attention to the slides.
i couldnt!!!
recess.
god, i was just.. idontknow?!
ARGH!!!!!!!

whats next?
ihum.
i . totally. cannot. believe. it.
i dont even remember anything.
nothing was in my head.
nothing got into.
i dont know what was taught!
i know nothing today!!

after ihum was
bio.
teacher didnt come.
i just slept.
and slept.
and got.
stares.
like
ash's ):
by. someone. not. him ):
I DONT LIKE IT!

MR MR MR.
MR MAT.
MR DONT KNOW.
MR YOU.
NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO ):
GOSH. PLEASE.
SOMEONE.
HELP MEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!
I CANT STAND IT ANYMORE.
I FEEL LIKE DYING!
I DONT KNOW WHY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
IM SO STRESSED!!!!!!!!!
LIFE AND ALL.
ITS NOT ONLY HIM!!!

after bio was phy.
im so lucky we just marked works.
and thats all.
(:

drama,
I TOTALLY LOST FOCUS.
but had only two full runs.
Ruby came?
lols.
and thats why released 6pm.
sucks.

got home. eat pizza.
bath. use com.
and thats how.
suckish. life. is!
i mean, its not just that lar!!!!!
ergh!

mum hasnt been checking my phone.
i didnt notice, but nice to know.
cause i guess. haiz...

everyone's happy that i broke up?
except myself.
wow.
maybe its time i put others before me.
and i guess, i have.
time i learn the meaning of happiness?

heart's broken.

i think im living life somewhat like amalina.
except, not that wild.
god!
yes whatever she said about love and her life, is the same as mine.
yes, being single makes our life complicated and worse.
dont tell the guys why.
and yeah, i dont think friends would understand.
they would think we are just showing of our crap.
imagine they being in our place.
wtf right?
k. bettter shut up now.
--

my shoulder hurts.
my left shoulder.
the whole of my left arm, actually.
im getting sick this days.
im feeling worse.
aneroxia nervosa.
hah, the syf play.
gosh, i think i can be the main character.
i guess, somehow, im going through that.
gosh.
someone?

a few words, here and there.
of course not all.
am i heartless?
gosh ):
but i didnt get angry.
no scold.
no, nothing.
ARRRRRRRRGHHH :'(
WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
MAKE ME FORGET ALL THIS.
GOSHHH!

WE ARE ALREADY ENEMIES.
I BET.
SOMEONEEEE..
HELP ME!

IM SCREAMING IN THE INSIDE,
WISHING SOMEONE COULD HEAR.
like whatever shaik said lar.
AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHH!!!

NO.
NO ONE.
NO ONE SHOULD REPLACE HIM.
NO ONE!!!!!

NO ONE WILL NEVER EVER
AND CAN NEVER REPLACEEEEEE HIM!

please dont.
please.

i wont lose the papers he gave.
the drawings he made.
the words he wrote.
the simple words.
wont throw away.
wont burn them.
i wont.
i know i should.
i cant.

i cant pretend all this false
happiness and crap.
but what am i suppose to do?
someone?
please listen to me.
someone...

why do lovers become strangers?
argh!!!!
ineedcounselling.
WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME!
I CANT STAND ITT!!!
IM SO STRESSED
IM LAUGHING AT NOTHING.
IM BEING A RETARD.
even Justin said that-.-
gosh. someone.
SOMEONE!

lemme scream.
lemme do what i want!!!!!
AHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
no, i cant do this.
i can.
i cant
i can
i cant!!
im going psycho!!!!

he said i love you,
i said, im sorry, im allergic to bullshit.

really, am i?

im trying to joke,
but i cant.
nadhirah!
make some senses please!!

I MISS HIM SO MUCH!

Monday, March 23, 2009

flashbacks):

this blog priorites on my life,
so, its not my problem you ended up here.

honestly,
people should REALLY be thankful.
& stop complaining,
im serious-.-

seriously,
they should really.
cause if they see others that just shut their mouth
about their life,
and when they find out about other's life.
they should really open up their eyes.
im serious.
& anyway, im not gonna talk about
my life.
my real life.
not that its virtual now. -.-
but whatever(:

----

okay,
i feel so happy!
hahaha.
i feel freeeeeeeee.
i mean, cause he is?

i dont know why,
but somehow what im doing to me is, really
brings ALOT OF GREAT BENEFITS.
TO OTHERS.
more than to me.
i dont believe, i should make myself happy anymore.
im so happy that others are.
and im so glad, now i can see them smile.
and i can make them happy.
iloveeveryone.
my family, cousins & friends.

if i had been faster,
his life would be better.
im so glad, for the first time i fulfill my promise about guys!
at least one of it?
its not about me.
more like them.
so yeah, im so glad.
im hated by him.
& im glad he is not guilty.
IM SO HAPPY!:D

im nuts.
i really,
yesterday really.
i really felt i should go to Institute of Mental Health
shaik's seriously.
he needs to get murdered-.-
kidding!
anyway, yeah.
as i was saying,
i mean, im going INSANE.
seriously.
let me count how many cuts i have.. thats still visible
hmmmm..
TWENTY.
YEY.
omg.
TWENTY.
thats abit too much huh?

amalia saw my thing i used.
hahahahahahahah.
yes, im very daring, sister.

--

so hows the new me?
the almost there new?
hah.
najwan's not noticing-.-
duhhhh.
anyway, whatever.
hahahs.

okokay crap.
----

so hm.
where was i talking about?
i have no idea.
lemme seee.
i think im gonna do more cuts?
somehow i still feel stressful.
oh, i know why.
i just need a guy's love.
-sigh-

===
sorry shouldnt have said that.
anyway, gosh, shaik made me ):
again. :@

he had to say,
cause i said,
uhm,
"i thought you saving your prepaid for emergencies"
he HAD TO SAY ONLY THIS IN ONE SMS. AND THAT HAD TO MAKE ME SAD.
"anything for you ;)"
THE WINK
___ FAVOURITE LINE OF HIS.
FAVOURITE ACTION OF HIS.
WHYYY?
I DONT WANNA GO THROUGH IT ALL AGAIN.
btw, i dont like or love shaik, okay?
people are nuts.
i mean, he's my friend la.
good friend.

k, skip that.
haizzz.
where am i leading to?
i just love to see the people i love happy!
(:

--

---
Your view on yourself:
Other people find you very interesting, but you are really hiding your true self. Your friends love you because you are a good listener. They'll probably still love you if you learn to be yourself with them.

The type of girlfriend/boyfriend you are looking for:
You are a true romantic. When you are in love, you will do anything and everything to keep your love true.

Your readiness to commit to a relationship:
You are ready to commit as soon as you meet the right person. And you believe you will pretty much know as soon as you meet that person.

The seriousness of your love:
You are very serious about relationships and aren't interested in wasting time with people you don't really like. If you meet the right person, you will fall deeply and beautifully in love.

Your views on education:
Education is very important in life. You want to study hard and learn as much as you can.

The right job for you:
You're a practical person and will choose a secure job with a steady income. Knowing what you like to do is important. Find a regular job doing just that and you'll be set for life.

How do you view success:
Success in your career is not the most important thing in life. You are content with what you have and think that being with someone you love is more than spending all of your precious time just working.

What are you most afraid of:
You are concerned about your image and the way others see you. This means that you try very hard to be accepted by other people. It's time for you to believe in who you are, not what you wear.

Who is your true self:
You are mature, reasonable, honest and give good advice. People ask for your comments on all sorts of different issues. Sometimes you might find yourself in a dilemma when trapped with a problem, which your heart rather than your head needs to solve.
--

i still think i dont belong in this world,
my left arm's can say, it hurts.
haha.
dont care:D
anyway, hm.
im gonna try.
му нєαят ωιѕнєѕ тσ∂αу тнαт ι ѕнσυℓ∂ нι∂є уσυ ιη му ємвяα¢є... ι ƒєαя тнαт ι мιgнт ℓσѕє υ...
naafiu's phrase
i took. cause he allowed me.
and i feel it in me )):

Saturday, March 21, 2009

im back

IM BACK LADIES.
HAHAHAHAHA.
I SOO LOVE THIS BLOG.
ANYWAY , THIS BLOG REALLY SUITS ME.
SO YEAH.
HAHAHAH.
LIFE'S OKAY.
I GUESS.
SOME PEOPLE HAVE TO BE URGH,
IMPERSONATE ME?
YOU DIE.
IM SERIOUS.
GET A LIFE LUH.

Saturday, November 03, 2007

hey

hey hey

you you

i dont like ur girlfriend...

JUZ KIDDING!

lols. visit my link

Friday, August 24, 2007

LALALALA
I'M POSTING RUBBISH
BOREEDDD.
yes, BOREDD is the word for now and then.
and bye is the wordd for theis instance
-BBBYYYEEE

Saturday, June 16, 2007

Mcfly
-Not Alone

Life is getting harder day by day
And I, I don't know what to do what to say, yeah
And my mind is growing weak every step I take
It's uncontrolable now they think I'm fake
Yeah

'Coz I'm not alone ( no, no, no )
But I'm not alone ( no, no, no)
I'm not alone

And I, I get on the train on my own
Yeah, My tired radio keeps playin' tired songs
And I know thats there's not long to go, oh
And all i wanna do is just go home

'Coz I'm not alone (no, no, no)
But I'm not alone (no, no, no)

People rip me for the clothes,
I wear, yeah yeah
Every day seems to be the same
They just swear, yeah
They just don't care
They just don't care
They just don't care

'Coz I'm not alone (no, no, no)
But I'm not alone (no, no, no)

Na,Na,Na,Na,Na,Na,Na,Na,Na,Na,Na,Na,Na,Na,Na,Na,Na,Na,Na,No
Na,Na,Na,Na,Na,Na,Na,Na,Na,Na,Na,Na,Na,Na,Na,Na,Na,Na,Na,Na,Na,No

But I'm not alone
La,La,La,La
Yeah, Yeah
But I'm not alone

found this frm the creater of this blogskin
--------------------------------------

The lights go out and I can't be saved
Tides that I tried to swim against
Have brought me down upon my knees
Oh I beg, I beg and plead singing

Come out of things unsaid
Shoot an apple off my head and a
Trouble that cant be named
A tiger's waiting to be tamed singing

You are
You are

Confusion never stops
Closing walls and ticking clocks
Gonna come back and take you home
I could not stop that you now know singing

Come out upon my seas,
Cursed missed opportunities
Am I a part of the cure
Or am I part of the disease, singing

You are, you are, you are
You are, you are, you are

And nothing else compares
And nothing else compares
And nothing else compares

You are
You are

Home, home where I wanted to go
Home, home where I wanted to go
Home, home where I wanted to go
Home, home where I wanted to go

--------------------------------------------
This too..same person

You could be my unintended
Choice to live my life extended
You could be the one I'll always love
You could be the one who listens
to my deepest inquisitions
You could be the one I'll always love

I'll be there as soon as I can
But Im busy mending broken pieces of the life I had before

First there was the one who challenged
All my dreams and all my balance
She could never be as good as you

You could be my unintended
Choice to live my life extended
You should be the one Ill always love

I'll be there as soon as I can
But Im busy mending broken pieces of the life I had before

I'll be there as soon as I can
But Im busy mending broken pieces of the life I had before

Before you

guess u guyz are rite

maybe my problem just

wont& can't end

so i've decided

TO TELL MY PROBLEM

TO YOU GUYS

Onli to those

ppl hu are my

BEST FRIEND FOREVER.

Basically

most of you guyz

will noe

i can't Hide it

ANIMORE

Get ready for my WHISPERS